There is an old saying that I often use to enlighten people as to the challenges of human ideals in conflict with other’s belief systems. You see, it has always run true in my observation of personal or professional arguments. “A person convinced against their will, is of the same opinion still!” Now then, let me help you find a better way to argue and to win those arguments through careful attention to statesmanship and diplomacy; the art of letting someone else get your way. Please read the following books and then we can argue my main point:
“How to Argue and Win Every Time” by Gerry Spence. 1995.
Gerry Spence was one of the most colorful attorneys of our time and thus his advice is completely relevant, not only in dealing with hard to deal with people, but also in the timely wisdom. Gerry offers wise advice straight away such as; Choose Your Arguments Wisely, Listen to the Opposing Views to Learn, Realize that Words Can Lead to Wars, Argue from the Heart, Do Not Let Anger Destroy Your Position, and from the beginning to the end Gerry expounds on setting yourself up to win in advance. I think you will enjoy the chapters on family arguments, workplace conflicts and arguing for justice.
“Giving in to Get Your Way – the Attack-Tics System for Winning Your Everyday Battles” by Terry Dobson and Victor Miller – 1978.
Indeed, this book is a great follow-up read to the above-for-mentioned work, in that it’s amazing that arguments, negotiations and breaking through the walls of perception can often get folks to surrender their perceptions and listen to a reasonable side of the equation. The authors suggest that there is a lot more to conflict than merely fight or flight responses when it comes to emotional human beings.
Interestingly enough, this book really did not agree with me personally at all, even from the first chapter discussing winning and losing or why people lose. The authors, I believe intended it to be that way, when they called the reader a loser in the first sentence. Then, one is shocked into listening with the intensity, giving up their position in the argument before they started. It was the ultimate lesson in Sound and Fury.